Rocking on the porch with my niece wrapped in a blanket on a cool morning. Lounging by the pool with one of my dearest friends, my brother, and his two incredible friends from Wales and Ireland. Celebrating my aunt and uncle's 40th wedding anniversary and the birth of their second beautiful grandson. Celebrating with lobster dinner and a hilarious slide show. Talking to my dad about meditation and, for the first time in my life, what it's like to feel healthy. Waking up early to check the tide, scrub out my long-neglected kayak, and go for my first blissful paddle in almost two years. Taking a walk around the water with my mom and talking about family and food and joy. Playing and laughing with the three-year-olds tearing around the house. Having a delicious dinner with my sister and her hubby after getting back to Philly.
By all accounts, I had what can only be considered a nearly perfect weekend. It was the first time in a very long time that I visited my parents and had energy. Usually, going home was an opportunity to let myself crash. After pushing pushing pushing in my daily life, I could go somewhere safe and be taken care of and nurtured. This wasn't a conscious decision, mind you. I wanted to feel up for a paddle or a long walk, let alone both. Sometimes I would push myself (or my mom would coax me) and I'd get outside to soak up some sun. But at the beginning of the summer, that didn't seem like much of an option to me. I was sick, no question about it. On one trip I was recovering from a severe allergic reaction that caused my lips to swell up so horribly that I looked the poster girl for horrible collagen. The next trip home, for a big family party, my body was in severe pain, particularly my foot with a recent stress fracture. I was pale, weak, and unsteady on my feet. It was a few days later that I set off on Health Crusade 2008.
Health-wise, it was a great weekend in some pretty major ways -- joy, loving family and friends, outdoor activity I love, veggies. I did fall off the wagon a bit in terms of what I ate, though. I managed to abstain from alcohol (tricky for a wine lover surrounded by lots of open bottles of the good stuff), and my mom talked me out of indulging a major sugar craving this afternoon, but I did slip up on the elimination diet. No major mis-steps, but I wasn't as prudent as I usually am. And...I ate a bunch of marshmallows. And some sorbet. And lots of chips. And butter on my lobster. Whoops!
After the indulging, I had a few choices. I could beat myself up over it for not being perfect. (Doesn't seem constructive.) I could pretend it never happened. (Obviously not productive.) I could look at why I did it (to be part of the fun, and because it tastes good), how I felt (not nearly as good as when I don't indulge), and resolve to try again from that point forward (now that sounds like a logical, productive plan). I went with that last option, and I'm feeling pretty good about it.
I also decided to give myself credit for the healthy choices I did make. Yes, I had strawberry sorbet, but at least I didn't have a lot of dairy before the dairy introduction phase. Ok, ok, I had butter on the lobster, but come on. I resisted the wine. I loaded up my plate with veggies at every meal. I moved around and I laughed a lot. If you were to look at the balance register of healthy vs. unhealthy choices, I think I came out strongly in the black for healthy choices. Sometimes, perfection isn't going to happen. Sometimes, more good than bad has to be good enough.
That said, tomorrow I start again with following the elimination diet strictly. It's not that hard, it tastes delicious, I feel great when I do it 100%, and I want to know just how my body responds to these different things. Besides, I know that when all is said and done, the more healthy choices I make every day, the more absolutely blissful weekends I'm likely to have. And I happen to be a huge fan of bliss.
By all accounts, I had what can only be considered a nearly perfect weekend. It was the first time in a very long time that I visited my parents and had energy. Usually, going home was an opportunity to let myself crash. After pushing pushing pushing in my daily life, I could go somewhere safe and be taken care of and nurtured. This wasn't a conscious decision, mind you. I wanted to feel up for a paddle or a long walk, let alone both. Sometimes I would push myself (or my mom would coax me) and I'd get outside to soak up some sun. But at the beginning of the summer, that didn't seem like much of an option to me. I was sick, no question about it. On one trip I was recovering from a severe allergic reaction that caused my lips to swell up so horribly that I looked the poster girl for horrible collagen. The next trip home, for a big family party, my body was in severe pain, particularly my foot with a recent stress fracture. I was pale, weak, and unsteady on my feet. It was a few days later that I set off on Health Crusade 2008.
Health-wise, it was a great weekend in some pretty major ways -- joy, loving family and friends, outdoor activity I love, veggies. I did fall off the wagon a bit in terms of what I ate, though. I managed to abstain from alcohol (tricky for a wine lover surrounded by lots of open bottles of the good stuff), and my mom talked me out of indulging a major sugar craving this afternoon, but I did slip up on the elimination diet. No major mis-steps, but I wasn't as prudent as I usually am. And...I ate a bunch of marshmallows. And some sorbet. And lots of chips. And butter on my lobster. Whoops!
After the indulging, I had a few choices. I could beat myself up over it for not being perfect. (Doesn't seem constructive.) I could pretend it never happened. (Obviously not productive.) I could look at why I did it (to be part of the fun, and because it tastes good), how I felt (not nearly as good as when I don't indulge), and resolve to try again from that point forward (now that sounds like a logical, productive plan). I went with that last option, and I'm feeling pretty good about it.
I also decided to give myself credit for the healthy choices I did make. Yes, I had strawberry sorbet, but at least I didn't have a lot of dairy before the dairy introduction phase. Ok, ok, I had butter on the lobster, but come on. I resisted the wine. I loaded up my plate with veggies at every meal. I moved around and I laughed a lot. If you were to look at the balance register of healthy vs. unhealthy choices, I think I came out strongly in the black for healthy choices. Sometimes, perfection isn't going to happen. Sometimes, more good than bad has to be good enough.
That said, tomorrow I start again with following the elimination diet strictly. It's not that hard, it tastes delicious, I feel great when I do it 100%, and I want to know just how my body responds to these different things. Besides, I know that when all is said and done, the more healthy choices I make every day, the more absolutely blissful weekends I'm likely to have. And I happen to be a huge fan of bliss.
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