Let go of what's toxic to make room for more joy, love, and fulfillment.
That, more than anything else, is what I try to keep in mind as I go through my day. I find it helpful because it applies to so many different facets of life: relationships, food, my surroundings.
And my language.
I've developed a bit of a potty mouth over the years. (Sorry, Mom!) I always tried to be mindful of my surroundings, no cursing around children or anyone I thought might find it uncomfortable. But when I was just kicking back with friends? More foul language than I care to admit.
As part of my health makeover, though, I started to consider the effect my language might have on my health. I love the written word, communication, speech. Language fascinates me with all that it can accomplish when used precisely, and the outrageous misunderstandings that can arise when it gets sloppy. (Keep in mind, I'm a girl who has a favorite grammatical construction (using a gerund with a pronoun) and a favorite form of punctuation (the semicolon, when used judiciously.) Which is why I'm rather surprised I never stopped to consider how my speech might influence my well-being.
The other piece you need to know is that I struggle with anger. I mentioned this to my friend Jen yesterday, and she was surprised. I rarely yell or lose my temper, but I am a master when it comes to the quiet seethe. The more livid I get, the more I withdraw as a long string of expletives runs through my mind.
Since I've started my experiment, though, I can't say I've felt angry. Yes, all the same pieces that contribute to my feeling [there's that possessive with a gerund...love it!] healthier -- and the fact that I do feel healthier -- are likely the primary factors. But consider this: cursing, for me, was fueling my anger in a way that I wasn't even close to being aware of. Even if it was just in casual, even fun conversation with friends. My decision to watch my language is a lot like a decision to change anything else; it led me to an increased awareness that allowed me to choose how to act rather than just reacting without thought. That thought process makes me slow down, if only a little bit. It forces me to live with consciousness in the moment and decide on my behavior.
The other bonus is that I now find myself using a smattering of Leave it to Beaver type exclamations. Like "Geez Louise!" Next time you're angry, swap out &*%$ for "Geez Louise!" You'll sound ridiculous. It might make you laugh. Which, I think we can all agree, beats seething.
I'm not perfect. I still use words I would never utter in front of my three-year-old niece. But at least now it's a decision rather than the default. Also, it should be noted, that I stub my toe, all bets are off, and talking like June Cleaver just ain't gonna cut it.
In other news -- I did manage to meditate yesterday. Sort of. I put on my earphones (but no music) on the train yesterday and set my alarm. I tried to let go of the surrounding noise and my self-consciousness over the fact that I was, well, trying to meditate on the train. It wasn't close to being as fulfilling as meditating at home, but it was better than nothing. It also made me realize what a difference this brief practice is already having on me. As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I was lamenting the fact that I hadn't taken the time and attention to really clear my head and refocus. Does this mean I'm starting to turn the corner to actually looking forward to meditating?
And a huge thank you for your comments about meditating. I love hearing what it means to different people and how you approach it. I found the comment about meditating through thought instead of away from it to be particularly helpful. That's the goal for tonight.
And my language.
I've developed a bit of a potty mouth over the years. (Sorry, Mom!) I always tried to be mindful of my surroundings, no cursing around children or anyone I thought might find it uncomfortable. But when I was just kicking back with friends? More foul language than I care to admit.
As part of my health makeover, though, I started to consider the effect my language might have on my health. I love the written word, communication, speech. Language fascinates me with all that it can accomplish when used precisely, and the outrageous misunderstandings that can arise when it gets sloppy. (Keep in mind, I'm a girl who has a favorite grammatical construction (using a gerund with a pronoun) and a favorite form of punctuation (the semicolon, when used judiciously.) Which is why I'm rather surprised I never stopped to consider how my speech might influence my well-being.
The other piece you need to know is that I struggle with anger. I mentioned this to my friend Jen yesterday, and she was surprised. I rarely yell or lose my temper, but I am a master when it comes to the quiet seethe. The more livid I get, the more I withdraw as a long string of expletives runs through my mind.
Since I've started my experiment, though, I can't say I've felt angry. Yes, all the same pieces that contribute to my feeling [there's that possessive with a gerund...love it!] healthier -- and the fact that I do feel healthier -- are likely the primary factors. But consider this: cursing, for me, was fueling my anger in a way that I wasn't even close to being aware of. Even if it was just in casual, even fun conversation with friends. My decision to watch my language is a lot like a decision to change anything else; it led me to an increased awareness that allowed me to choose how to act rather than just reacting without thought. That thought process makes me slow down, if only a little bit. It forces me to live with consciousness in the moment and decide on my behavior.
The other bonus is that I now find myself using a smattering of Leave it to Beaver type exclamations. Like "Geez Louise!" Next time you're angry, swap out &*%$ for "Geez Louise!" You'll sound ridiculous. It might make you laugh. Which, I think we can all agree, beats seething.
I'm not perfect. I still use words I would never utter in front of my three-year-old niece. But at least now it's a decision rather than the default. Also, it should be noted, that I stub my toe, all bets are off, and talking like June Cleaver just ain't gonna cut it.
In other news -- I did manage to meditate yesterday. Sort of. I put on my earphones (but no music) on the train yesterday and set my alarm. I tried to let go of the surrounding noise and my self-consciousness over the fact that I was, well, trying to meditate on the train. It wasn't close to being as fulfilling as meditating at home, but it was better than nothing. It also made me realize what a difference this brief practice is already having on me. As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I was lamenting the fact that I hadn't taken the time and attention to really clear my head and refocus. Does this mean I'm starting to turn the corner to actually looking forward to meditating?
And a huge thank you for your comments about meditating. I love hearing what it means to different people and how you approach it. I found the comment about meditating through thought instead of away from it to be particularly helpful. That's the goal for tonight.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment